


a choice to be strong

by softsilences



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Final Haikyuu Quest, Drabble, Final Haikyuu Quest, M/M, there are mentions of violence but nothing too explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 12:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7361680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softsilences/pseuds/softsilences
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa smiles bitterly. Out of all the clichés from the lives of the past rulers he’d read about in history, who knew he would add to the list of kings who had to kill their best and most trusted friends?</p>
            </blockquote>





	a choice to be strong

Oikawa remembers it, the weight of his father’s cold and trembling hand on his shoulder.

“Look at me, boy,” his father had said, dying words weighing more than the hand on Oikawa’s shoulder or the invisible crown hovering above Oikawa’s bowing head. “Look at me and listen as I lose breath and die an early death.”

Oikawa remembers how the hand had tightened its grip before it moved to grab and shake him furiously by the arm. _"Boy."_

Oikawa remembers it all too vividly, how he’d known that his father’s each touch and word was going to leave him with nothing but bruises, both on and beneath his skin.

_"You are going to rule this kingdom in my stead."_

_"You are going to honor me by promising that you will not let this kingdom fall."_

_"And to do that, you will have to be strong, boy. Because to live from now on means that you are going to hurt everyone who dares to stand in your way, especially those whom you truly care for."_

And to be strong meant that you had to learn how not to feel. You had to learn how to kill nerves inside your body so that you could not cry or scream as your father placed a knife in your hands and guided them to let the knife cut a deep line across his throat. That day was your first lesson, and it only grew harder as you continued to live strong. To be strong, you had concluded, was to let your heart grow into a callous. You had to speak without telling what your once warm and kind heart truly wanted, hear without understanding as people called you names akin to the ‘jealous prince’ or the ‘ungrateful child’, watch with your eyes open but unseeing as people in front of you died one by one in your hands and in your mercy. By then, to you, to be strong meant that you must only crave two things in this world: to kill and to conquer.

Oikawa reminds himself everything that he’d learned ever since he’d understood what being the King’s son or the heir to a throne built on iron and blood meant.

“Strong,” Oikawa mutters, testing to see how the syllable rolls off of his tongue. “He wanted me to be strong.”

But everything crumbles when he spots his childhood friend by the castle entrance, wielding a stained sword in one hand and the convulsing head of Oikawa’s strongest guard in the other.

“Surrender, and I promise I’ll spare you your head, Oikawa.”

“Long time no see, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa smiles bitterly as he moves to stand up slowly from his throne. “I think I actually kind of miss you.”

“Surrender,” Iwaizumi repeats, stronger this time. His eyes are directed at Oikawa’s direction, but he does not meet Oikawa’s gaze. Instead, he stares at something behind Oikawa’s head, stares as if he was looking at the Oikawa he knew before all the chaos started, stares as if he was face-to-face with the Oikawa he wants to save.

“You’re not the only one who trained to become strong.” Iwaizumi steps forward, hands never loosening the grip he has around his sword.

“Unfortunately, that seems to be the case.” Oikawa clenches his fists. He feels that familiar tingling in his chest once again—the one that he’d first felt when he’d murdered his father.

He remembers it all too vividly. This time, however, he also remembers the part where Iwaizumi had held his hand and consoled him when he’d been too shocked about his father’s death, how Iwaizumi had fought off everyone who had found Oikawa unworthy of being king, how Iwaizumi had sworn him his sword only to walk away as soon as he’d learned about Oikawa’s plan.

_"And to do that, you will have to be strong, boy. Because to live from now on means that you are going to hurt everyone who dares to stand in your way, especially those whom you truly care for."_

Oikawa smiles bitterly. Out of all the clichés from the lives of the past rulers he’d read about in history, who knew he would add to the list of kings who had to kill their best and most trusted friends?

Oikawa takes in a deep breath. And, for the first time in years, he lets his mind wander back to the question he forgot to ask his father:

_"Do I always have to be strong?"_

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this on a whim.
> 
> scream at me about iwaoi/seijou in general on [twitter](https://twitter.com/oshietooru)!


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